The Other Half by Jess Whitecroft

Author:Jess Whitecroft
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Published: 2018-12-08T00:00:00+00:00

10

Chris

There’s always a point when you know you can’t come back from this. You look in the other person’s eyes and you know they’ve reached their limit. They can’t take any more disappointment or hurt, and if you’re not a total sadist you’ll stop. Maybe Sebastian saw it in my eyes that time, but right now that’s where I am with Jody.

“It’s cool,” he said, on the one occasion we tried to talk about it. “You’re still hurt. It’s too soon. I get it.”

No, you don’t, I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to beg his forgiveness for being so feckless as to initiate something while I still hadn’t taken a test, but there was that protective, pewterish film to his gaze, a flat gray ‘nope’ that said the discussion was over.

In the days after Christmas we rattle around the freezing house, apologizing to one another every time we threaten to collide in a doorway or on the stairs. At night he lies rolled up like an armadillo, and the one time we snuggled together in our sleep he woke up and immediately shuffled quickly out of my personal space. He’s protecting himself, and I can’t blame him for that.

Meanwhile my family is getting even twitchier than they were already. I’ve missed Thanksgiving, Christmas and now it’s coming up on New Year. Josephine is not amused.

“Come on,” she says. “What the hell are you playing at, Chris? Mom’s starting to think you’re punishing her for something.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Newsflash, Bro – irrational fears don’t. That’s why they’re irrational fears.”

“Have you told her it’s irrational?”

“Of course I’ve told her,” she says. “But you’re avoiding everyone. And everything. It’s not healthy.”

Maybe I’m not healthy. Maybe I’m doomed to a drug regimen for the rest of my life. To scanning the news every day for the hope of a cure. Or maybe I’m just a toxic person. I glance out the window and spot Jody smoking and moping beside the fountain. All the exuberance has gone from his body language. All that cheerful, optimistic sluttiness. I managed to suck it out of him in the space of about five minutes.

“I might come back,” I say, and Jo groans at me.

“Don’t say might. Either do or don’t. You did the ‘might’ thing at Thanksgiving and still managed to flake on us. ‘Might’ is worse than ‘no way’ at this point.”

“Am I not allowed to be indecisive, now?”

“There’s a limit, Hamlet. Be real. Like, what are you even doing up there? Do you know the first thing about repairing a hundred and forty year old house?”

“No, but I’m trying to learn.”

“From who?” she says. “A gardener?”

I sigh. “Have you been talking to Dad?”

“Yes,” says Jo, with testy patience. “We have all been talking to one another, because we’re family and because we love you. And we’re worried about you. You want us to stop worrying about you? Show face at New Year, drink some champagne, smile, sing Auld Lang fucking Syne and everyone will move on, Chris.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.